Have you ever felt like you were a fraud? Ever been in a situation where you knew you were in over your head? I remember that happening to me when I got a promotion one time. Mind you, I had written the job description, submitted it to the reorganization committee, and suggested that if they adopted my plan, they should make me the Department Director. And you know what? They did just that. I was stunned, even though I had trained for years to get to this point. I had gone back to school and gotten a Masters in Public Administration. Still, that little, niggling voice in the back of my head said things like, “you can’t do this, who do you think you are?, you’re nobody.” and I started to question my abilities. My theory back then was to “Fake It Till You Make It.” In other words, act like you know what you are doing, speak with authority, and people will believe you actually do.
You know that niggling little voice I mentioned? I believe that is Satan trying to cast doubt and dissension wherever he can. Not being good enough was a weak spot in my wordly armor. I always feared I could not live up to everyone’s expectations. I had gone to church all my life (with the exception of a few years in my early 20’s) and would have told you straight out that I was a Christian. The funny thing is though that I certainly did not live like one. I made my own decisions, never asking God for his input. I clawed my way up the corporate ladder looking for the success and salary that would make me happy. So, why wasn’t I happy even when I had achieved my earthly goals? I knew something was missing and I knew exactly what it was, I just wasn’t prepared to give up control over my own life. After all, if I completely turned my life over to Christ, wouldn’t my life be boring and supercilious? I would have to be a Goody-Two-Shoes, a “do gooder” and I didn’t think even I could fake that till I made it.
Then, I found out that I didn’t have to fake it, I didn’t have to fill my days with good works hoping they would balance the scales against my sins. I didn’t have to pretend to be a believer until I could actually be one. All I had to do was really, truly, actually turn my life over to Christ. He took care of everything else. Romans 10:9-10 says, “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
What a blessed relief. I didn’t have to balance any scales anymore. Hebrews 10:17 tell us that “their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” Imagine that, God does not remember our sins, deliberately does not remember them. My favorite verse about forgiveness comes from Psalm 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” That is truly amazing. Every time Satan comes around with his nasty little insinuations trying to tear you down, remind him of those verses. You are forgiven.
Now as the years rolled on, I did indeed start doing what I would have considered “good deeds” but it wasn’t to try and balance the scales. It was because I wanted to do those things. I wanted to show Christ how much I appreciated his sacrifice. After all, he died on a cross for my sins. How could I not want to give him thanks and praise any way I could? I am so excited about this new blog, what a great way to praise the Lord.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope you will choose to “follow” me so you will get each new post when it is published on the site. Please feel free to comment or to make suggestions. This is not “my” blog. It is a way for Christ to use me to get the Word out, to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 16:24). Isn’t all this technology wonderful, when used in a positive Godly manner? Thank you Lord for today and all you have provided for us.